The first rule of cognitive thinking is that all your moods are created by your thoughts or "cognition".
Let's dig deeper on this subject below...
1. What Does Cognitive Mean?
Cognitive refers to logical thought, awareness & mental processes.
The way you look at things, your perception, and beliefs.
Cognitive psychology helps us to understand the human thought process and how we gather, process, and store information.
Perception is an area of the human mind cognitive psychologists study frequently, and having a better understanding of it brings future predictable behaviors in certain types of people.
You feel the way you do right now, because of the thoughts
you are thinking at this moment.
Perception refers to the way that each of us see the world, and
why we have these particular views.
This helps you to identify, change and counter your negative thoughts into more adaptive and helpful responses.
2. Cognitive Skills
It’s a fact that approval feels good & there’s nothing wrong with that.
It’s natural and healthy.
It is also a fact that disapproval and rejection usually taste bitter and unpleasant.
Everyone will judge you differently no matter how well you do
or how badly you might behave.
Let’s analyze your belief and say that you felt terrible after someone who is important to you just disapproved you, or expresses something hurtful to you.
Why does disapproval pose such a threat and why is this illogical?
In such moments you must be Self-Aware because others might
use this vulnerability to manipulate you.
You will have to give in to their demands more often than you
want to because you fear they might reject or look down on you.
By doing this you set yourself towards emotional blackmail.
It is only your beliefs about yourself that can affect the way you feel.
You should master the cognitive skills that others can
say or think whatever they want about you, good or bad,
but only your thoughts will influence your emotions.
Why give another individual the power and right to judge you?
We’re all just human beings, not Supreme Court justices.
To put in practice your cognitive skills is to develop your own philosophy and awareness about disapproval and counter assertively with questions when someone disapproves you
to find the true core behind their disapproval.
You’ll be surprised to find how much this can help you change your perspective and enhance your sense of independent
3. Cognitive Thinking Distortions
Most of us are programmed to react more to negative impulse
or negative news.
Negative or automatic thoughts run through your mind without the slightest effort on your part
to put them there.
Although there are many more I'll list the most frequent cognitive thinking distortions:
4. Cognitive Thinking Development
Before you can feel irritated by any event you must first become aware of what is occurring and come to your own interpretation of it.
(There's extraordinary six week course to deepen your self-awareness you can check here).
Your feelings result from the meaning you give to the event,
not from the event itself.
There is one person in this world who has the power to threaten your self-esteem & self-worth,
and that is you.
(Nathaniel Branden's book is extraordinary & goes deep on this subject).
Your sense of worth can go down only if you put yourself down.
If you love yourself, people will respond to this sense of joy you radiate and want to be close to you.
Express genuine compliments to people, instead of waiting around nervously to find out if they will like you or reject you.
A good strategy is you like them first and let them know about it.
Show an interest in other people by learning about what turns them on.
Get them to talk about what excites them most & respond to their comments in an upbeat manner.
In some cases, you'll notice you have a profound, irresistible
tendency to defend yourself when you are unjustly accused.
This is a big mistake!
If you give in to this tendency, you will find that the intensity of your opponent’s attack increases!
As a general rule, when someone insults you, you will immediately go for one of three pathways:
the sad route, the mad route,
or the glad route.
Whichever option you choose will be a total experience & will include your thinking, your feelings,
your behavior and even the way your body functions.
Even tho you can't think and act rationally & cognitive 100% of
the time, strive to be self-aware & learn the cognitive thinking skill with practice over time.
The key to emotional enlightenment & cognitive thinking is the knowledge that only your thoughts can affect your moods.
If you can love and respect yourself in failure, world of adventure & new experiences will open up before you, and your fears will vanish.
Remember that your feelings are not facts & only your automatic thoughts can upset you!
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Now over to you.. share in the comments what's your opinion & experiences with cognitive thinking so far?