WHAT IS SELF-ESTEEM ACTUALLY?
Self-esteem is the way people think about themselves,
and how worthwhile they feel.
If you take a close look at your life & your habits,
you may realize that the way you live your
life screams “I have low self esteem.”
But knowing is the first step to improving your self-esteem
and finding the inner strength to live a life
that makes you fulfilled.
There are 3 Basic parts to your self-esteem:
- Body Image
- Self Acceptance.
1. Self-Image is your mental picture of yourself.
These images include your physical characteristics,
your strengths & your weaknesses & your skills.
Self-image is influenced by experiences and interactions
with others, and usually, takes times to develop.
2. Body Image is the way you feel about your physical self/body
when you mentally picture yourself or look in the mirror.
3. Self Acceptance is an individual satisfaction or content with oneself.
The mind will believe what the individual repeatedly says or think.
PEOPLE WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM HAVE THIS IN COMMON:
- see failures and negative aspects of their life
as weaknesses, instead of bearing lessons to be learned
- worry what may others think of them,
- inability to accept compliments
- vulnerable to peer-pressure
- tend to engage in unhealthy behaviors more frequently than others.
- social withdrawal
- Anxiety and emotional turmoil
- worry how others are perceiving them
- Reluctance to trust your own opinion
- making excuses often, even when there is no need for one
- Eating disorders
There was a time in my life when I will discredit or disqualify
anything positive that I did and focus only on the things that
needed to be done, finished or upcoming.
That created frustration and low self esteem in myself,
at the time I wasn’t even aware of.
Then my mentor at that time, after talking with him
about my difficulties, said one profound
sentence I’ll remember forever.
When you stop discrediting things that go well & stop dwelling on stuff that doesn't go so well, you are less likely to be frustrated or suffer low self esteem. Click To Tweet
WELL, HOW DO YOU INCREASE SELF ESTEEM?
(Note: Some therapist may take your money
for the advice you can do it Yourself for Free)
1. Recognize your positive qualities.
- Make a list of all your talents, assets including skills, experiences,
physical and social resources & anything else that
makes you feel good about yourself.
- Add to the list the compliments that others have given you as well.
- Ask your close people what they think your 3 unique strengths are?
Printing a page with all the qualities you possess and sticking that paper where you spend most of your time is not a bad idea at all! Reminding yourself of all your assets is a sure confidence booster. Click To Tweet
2. DESTROY THE DOWNFALL PATTERN
People with low self esteem don’t really take care of themselves.
If you have low self esteem you might forget to
shower for days, not brushing your teeth,
dress very poorly, eating a lot of junk food, alcohol & drugs use etc.
You know this is not good for you, and you doing it anyway
because you feel you’re not worth taking care of.
The problem in behavior like this is as time goes on,
your body & brain will feel worse & worse and
this is why it’s called downfall pattern,
where you feel that there is only one direction.
But it’s important to acknowledge that in every situation,
Life offers multiple ways we can choose from.
- You can Grab a paper and write all the things you’re
currently doing that can potentially destroy or
harm you in the long run, or you feel are bothering you.
( Write Minimum 5)
You’re doing this because many people today don’t know
their biggest problems until they write them.
Next, ask yourself what will happen if for 20 days you start
doing some practical tips, such as:
- eating better,
- Start & Learn meditation,
- getting enough sleep to improve your energy,
- learn a new skill
- Whatever you’re interested in doing\learning
How would you feel after these 20 days?
How would you feel when you compare the 2 patterns?
The Solution is to break out of that Downfall Cycle.
3. BE MINDFULL & OBSERVE
You can’t change something if you don’t recognize that
there is something to change.
By simply becoming aware of our negative self-talk,
we begin to distance ourselves from the feelings it brings up.
Without this awareness, we can easily fall into the trap
of believing our self-limiting talk.
But let’s not forget THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS!
As soon as you find yourself going down the path of self-doubt,
or criticism, gently observe what is happening,
be curious about it, and remind yourself,
These are thoughts, not facts.
4. BELIEVE IN YOUR OWN WORTH
Simply make yourself priority some of the time.
- Think of something you want to do, achieve, accomplish.
- Give yourself permission to say no,
- Ask for what you want ASSERTIVELY
(or learn to communicate Assertively if you don’t know already.)
- Create yourself to be in a position to make it happen.
- Be prepared to tolerate disappointing others for the sake
of recognizing that you matter and taking care of yourself.
You might be the type of person who constantly says to themselves,
nobody loves me, nobody wants to be my friend, I’m worthless etc.
This type of self-talk is the reason why we
feel so poorly about ourselves.
These thoughts over time have convinced you that all of
this is true, and that’s because if you listen
to the same line over and over again, you start to believe it.
Sometimes automatic negative thoughts like ‘you’re fat’ or
‘you’re lazy’ can be repeated in your mind so often that
you start to believe they are true.
The more times a thought is repeated,
the more you will believe it to be true.
People with Good Self Esteem believe they are valuable and
important, that’s why they take good care of themselves.
They make good decisions about themselves
which raise their value rather than break it down.
When you start to take care of yourself & value yourself,
guess what opinion others or most of them will have on You?
That’ll surely help you to go further and create the
best possible Self-Image of yourself.
I strongly Recommend if you have deeper problems with
Low Self Esteem, to read – Feeling Good -by David Burns.
You will learn more about your Thoughts, Emotions,
Behaviors & how it’s all connected with each other.
I believe that this book is a must-read for all
Individuals who plan to Advance further in life.
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