What is emotional intelligence really? The person with strong emotional intelligence is skilled in four areas: identifying emotions, using emotions, understanding emotions,and regulating emotions.” — Mayer and Salovey
Emotional Intelligence Definition?
Recognize, understand and manage our own emotions. Recognize, understand and influence the emotions of others.
Emotions can drive our behavior and impact (positive & negative) people, that’s why learning how to manage those emotions can be priceless.
By learning to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment, you can increase your self-awareness of them with more clarity, rather than having them blurred by your assumptions.
Emotional Intelligence Example
Imagine the feelings Mike had every time he went to work constantly frustrated about the jokes and harassment,he received from his colleague Ben.
From comments about Mike’s clothes, insults how stupid and lazyhe does the work, jokes about his inability to finish some project etc.
After 2 years of almost every day frustrations, Mike had 2 options:
Either he fights and defeats Ben, and shows he’s the dominant alpha male, which was hard to even imagine for Mike because Ben was a big guy.
Option 2 was to reveal why and what was causing Ben to behave like this, and try to understand him for his actions, which wasn’t an easy job to do as well.
Mike decided to learn more about what Emotional Intelligence is by researching on google & reading books and soon as he gathered basic knowledge of what that is he decided to put it into action.
Long story short, after observing and analyzing his colleague for 15 days, Mike finds out that in his childhood Ben’s father used to talk to him in the same way, treating him as a looser & constantly destroying his self-confidence and self-image,
which created deep insecurities especially when Ben is surrounded by other people. This leads to Ben forming a defensive mechanism in his mind that, as a result he attacks and insults others before they joke or insult him.
After discovering this Mike forget about the humiliation he was receiving from Ben and decide to help him by talking and explaining to his colleague how his actions affected him negatively and what was the reason for that.
Since Mike was talking the truth, his colleague was interested in hearing and learning more about what Emotional Intelligence is and how he can start improving his life as well.
They become very close friends helping each otherand caring for one another in the future.
Emotional Intelligence Importance
Emotional Intelligence relates to this story and similar situationsin our everyday life because sometimes we don’t see our weakness orstupidity rationally and that can shift us in a completely different course in our lives.
What Emotional intelligence is really allowing us to understand ourselves better, connect with others, empathize with our coworkers, have deep conversations about our relationship with our loved ones, and live a more authentic, healthy & happy life.
Being emotionally Intelligent can help you connect and interact with others easier, improve your communication skills, help you become more resilient and lower levels of insecurity or depression.
Emotional intelligence is always the result of educationin how to interpret ourselves, our emotions, our fears, our wishes in society and it would be ideal if young kids can have some basic knowledge while they’re in school before they make too many mistakes later in life.
How to Improve Emotional Intelligence?
There are lot more tools and things to cultivate EI,but I’ll share 5 tips I’ve used so far: 1. Self-awareness 2. Empathy 3. Complaining 4. Breath Deeply 5. Predict Your Feelings
The CEO of Emotional Intelligence. The ability to have a deep understanding of yourself, knowing what you feel and why you feel it can be powerful and gives you more accurate perceptions to recognize your emotions as they happen.
Think and plan a situation or place you’re going into and predict how you will feel.
Be sure to give every feeling a name or even better write the name if it’s more convenient because naming the feeling puts you in control.
Try to choose an appropriate reaction to the feeling rather than just reacting to it.
In Conclusion later when home or in a peaceful place, analyze some of the emotions that were unpleasant or unclear to you. (What/Why Analyze)
“Emotional competence is the single most important personal quality that each of us must develop and access to experience a breakthrough.
Only through managing our emotions can we access our Intellect and our technical competence. An emotionally competent person performs better under pressure.”-Dave Lennick, Executive VP, American Express-
“Emotion can be the enemy, if you give into your emotion, you lose yourself. You must be at one with your emotions, because the body always follows the mind.” -Bruce Lee
“When a man is prey to his emotions, he is not his own master.” -Baruch Spinoza
“The emotions of man are stirred more quickly than man’s intelligence.” -Oscar Wilde
Anybody can become angry, that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way… that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy. -Aristotle
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